Unlike My Wife

unlike my wife, I could not wait for the various furniture pieces that I have carried with me since puberty to be sucked up by bargain shoppers and the special breed of people who cruise the streets looking for stuff at the end of the driveway with a "FREE" sign on it. For example...our couch. It has certainly served us faithfully for many years, and yes, I have had a few pleasurable naps on it. But I hated that couch from the moment it arrived. Especially after I sampled my buddy Matt's couch. It's one of those where you just melt into it and 4 hours later it spits you back to reality all refreshed.

The person who will now be renting our old place came by a couple of weeks ago to show her friend and get his opinion. She happened to ask what we were doing with our stuff...well - my wife just pounced all over that and managed to sell her the matching loveseat and ottoman (why is it called an ottoman?), but we couldn't make her bite on the couch. Even at the very reasonable price of nothing.

So now it's moving weekend and the couch is still around. I do a quick prayer and ritualistic sacrifice to the bargain shopping gods, then we put the couch at the end of the driveway. This has to work. We then head off to dump , err, deliver some of our things to the family cabin. We come back...it's still there. We head out for dinner and return. It's still there. The gods have forsaken me.

Now it's Sunday, Do or die. Everything must go cause by the end of the day we will be homeless. We take the couch back to street-level and say a quick prayer. Fast forward to 3 PM, when our ever vigilant guard dog starts barking madly from her perch above the carport. I go to see and pull her in, when I notice that two people ARE NOW TAKING THE COUCH AWAY. Oh happy moment. I quickly move Jessy inside so her barking doesn't scare them off. I don't even move once back inside. I don't want to jinx it. Finally my daughter returns and says "hey Dad - the couch is gone!" And life is good once more...